Drewe!

10:24 pm - holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit

i keep waking up in the middle of the night terrified that i'm not making the right choice for next year.
this is so hideous i really don't know what to do. i wish someone would decide for me.
and what's worse is i keep thinking i've made up my mind completely and i'm so so excited to do whatever it is, but a week or so later the reality of the decision i've made hits me and then i start to worry and think it's the wrong choice and get all unsure.
HOWWWWW is everyone else managing this?? i am so scared.

10:16 pm - sooooooooooo

i haven't posted for ages, i probably should do so more but i don't really have anything very fun to say!
i got back from zante the other day, it was such an amazing holiday, we went to the main strip called laganas quite a few times, chilled with lots of pikeys, got very drunk and made friends with the workers. i didn't stop laughing for the whole week and i have a GENUINE tan, eee!

i now have a bug which i must have picked up on the plane, and i was vomiting all night last night. sick sick sick. this is sad because i also have maaaaaajor post holiday depression and desperately want to go back to chill with all of the amazing people we met and dance to ghetto music and get drunk every night in laga!

zante completely cured me and i feel so goooood now :)

hmmmmm bsg again next week, wishing this year away quite honestly. blehhhhh!


edit edit edit: AABD, by the way!

02:18 pm - c'monnnnnnn

psychology and general studies down. politics on friday! history and drama after half term then BARCELONA!
i am very very excited.

also cannot wait til after politics because my brain is frazzled and needs a week to recharge!


i am feeling happy happy happy today! what are these silly highs and lows all about?

i got paid today, i wanna go shopping.

very boring, sorry!

09:58 pm

i havent updated this in a while

i guess i'm just waiting until i have something good to say.


..which i dont really!

everything is so fine at the moment. fine is the only word to describe it. nothing really more or less. there have been a couple of highs and a few lows over the last few months but they've all pretty much blurred together into just being 'fine'.


damn, i've gotta make something exciting happen. i miss spontanunity.

10:43 pm - ouch

to the pain that my infected upper ear piercing is causing me and to the really shitty rubbish place i am in right now.

i would love to stay in my house forever and just sing all day every day in solitude. i hate being around people at the moment & that's really stupid because i love being around people. i don't know why i keep hitting these lows but i'm bored of it but don't seem to have the energy to find a way out.

i hate this repetition. it's not the good kind.

09:42 pm - it snowed today

more than it has for the last 16 years! wonderful!



amazing day!

09:48 pm - unbelievable

if i search me in google, my friends flickr comes up. also, a couple of friends facebooks but never mine. that's really odd.
it's like being spied on from a distance.

i am sat in my room wearing fishnet tights, with waist-high-make-you-a-bit-skinny pants on, then a feather boa over that and a corset on top. this is because on saturday i am attending a party and i need to check my moulin rouge costume is up to scratch. when i'm old and crazy i'm going to wear things like this with long white gloves and drink milk from cocktail glasses and never leave the house. it'll be so unstylish but ridiculous fun.

my new years resolutions, so far so good for some. the diet begins on the first of february and fuck knows when the focusing on work will begin, all i know is i've sat here dressed up all evening and i haven't done a single piece of my psychology. fuck?

11:53 pm

i just want these next two years to fly by because i'm really hating this right now and i want to get away

10:16 pm - Les Miserables

is finally over :( it' really sad. we all had such a good time doing it and made such good friends! the last show was awesome, if i'm honest. we were all so excited afterwards & the aftershow was great fun! we did awards and stupid things too which was nice and AGH mark wrote a song and performed it and it was the cutest thing i've ever seen in my life. it was actually a really good song aswell aha. then when the party was over, i had livvy, ellie mower, dylan & luke back to stay at mine and we drank and had a laugh. i ended up having about 2 and a half hours sleep then coming downstairs to find livvy gone & people playing guitar. so we all snuggled under duvets cuz it was so damn cold and christmassy outside & then made omlette and watched green street. good fun. now i am shattered and so gutted it's over :'(

07:31 pm - Boring quiz for procrastination purposes..

( Read more... )</span></font>Did anything brighten up your day today?
Ummm going for a cig at lunch made me very happy after stressful rehearsals!

How are you feeling at this exact moment?
Knackered & unable to get Les Miserables off my mind for even 2 seconds.

Do you ever wonder how other people see you?
Ohhh i wonder all the time! It'd be interesting to know.

Are you taller than most?
Dear lord no! I am so short.

When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song?
Er an hour or so ago??

Do you like the last person who sent you a myspace message?
Ummm probably some shit band

What is one thing that is currently bothering you?
My history essay

What was the last thing that you ate/drank?
Belgian waffles!

Do you realize it when you curse?
I do recently because I am trying to stop it

Who did you last talk to in person?
Sister

Last phone call?
I called Jess at lunch to find out where she was

Do you think places like New York City and California are overrated?
Never been! Doubt it though.

Whose graduation will you be attending next?
Errrr I have no idea - one of my friends who is at uni now perhaps? Or maybe mine?

Do you think some people are crazy for wearing jeans in the summer?
No. British summer isn't that hot most of the time

What was the last test you took & what for?
GCSEs!

What did you do yesterday?
Sixth form, then les mis rehersals then shopping.

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
Doesn't happen much. Probs that i'm not happy.

What is the weather like today?
Bloody freezing!

Do you own any bright underwear?
Yeeeeeeah

Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Nupe

Where did your last hug take place?
Umm today

Last place you took a plane to?
Spaiiiin

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Les Mis, Les Mis afterparty, Les Mis being over so I can have a life again.... ummm Holly & Phi's party, Christmas, NY Partaaaays

If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find?
Me, pillows, duvet, teddies, Sainsburys bag, guitar, phone, make-up bag, school bag, gloves, purse, history folder, history books, a belt, pile of clothes.

What is the last movie you watched?
I've no idea but I have borrowed Sweeny Todd from my friend so I expect i'll watch that soon!

What are you listening to right now?
Les fucking Mis!

What were you doing at 1am this morning?
Just settling down after slaving over history essay!

You're in the hospital, who out of your top friends comes to visit you?
Er like myspace top friends? Everyone except Enter Shikari I expect.

What's your favorite card game?
Spoons & good old solitaire

Who was the last person you called?
Jessica, i've already said.

Do you like to color?
Yes I suppose so

Do you own a pair of Uggs?
Ha no way, £5 fakes from Primark do me fine

What do you think about little dogs?
I only like attractive ones. Not ones that look like rats.

Do you watch Saved by the Bell?
I did back in my Nickelodeon days. Ahhh good times.

Do you drink bottled water?
Sometimes, but I prefer tap water haha

Do you know anyone who always carries a knife with them wherever they go?
Some pikeys down my road.

What happened at 10:00 am today?
We'd just been moved to the gym from the canteen & everyone was setting up camp and we played spoons.

When was the last time you saw your grandpa?
One is not alive, the other I saw like, this month some time

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
Sat up and drank tea in bed

When was the last time something bothered you?
Things bother me all the time I am such a complainer. Properly bothered tho, um yesterday nite.

Would you ever date anyone with tattoos?
Yeah as long as they weren't shit and on their face or something.

How much cash do you have on you?
About a tenner?

What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
CORRRR

What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a dress and a hoodie.

Who told you he/she loved you last?
Er probs Elle or Livvy haha!

Last furry thing you touched?
Feather boa?

How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
2

What was the last thing you said to someone?
"thankyou baby"

Was the last person you kissed cute?
Cute as in hot right ? Yes

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a B or S?
Yuppp

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? If so who?
Nope

Who was the last baby you held?
Archieee

Do you like your life?
Mostly yes!

Is there a girl that knows everything about you?
Errr nope

What are you most excited about?
Christmas. And my Live In Chicago DVD/CD thangggg!

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Getting ready for skl

What are you doing tonight?
Doing a history essay, starting a politics essay & then going to sleep!</div>

09:28 pm - Les Miserables

NEXT WEEK!! it's absolute craziness. i can't believe the time has come around so quickly, we're so unprepared!!
sixth form is becoming more bearable now, all of the weird tensions have simmered down and everyone seems to be getting along a lot better. dear lord the workload is still ridiculous. i've gotta fix up look sharp haha.

mmmmm i am loving panic loads again at the mo.

05:48 pm - Writer's Block: Revolutionary Thought

05:54 pm - i had a lovely half term

it was terribly busy - i visited london, izzy was home, went out and spent a lot of money & it was my birthday on sunday. i am now 17.

last week was the first in a long time where i felt i wasn't sleepwalking. on autopilot. going through the motions and not taking anything in. it was a good week. now it's back to this routine which leaves me suprisingly content but not really feeling anything at all.

08:24 pm - weeeee

kirby's 19th was so much fun. we all went round laura's on friday, and IZZY was there. it was amazing, i missed her so bad. it was like she was never even gone! so yeah we sorted izzy and daisy IDs, got ready and beautified then got a taxi to town. we actually had the funniest taxi driver, we told him we were late, so he got all excited and sped us there, running a red light on the way (ahah loving the danger of course) and playing MJ and Aretha Franklin at full blast. it was beautiful.

got to 60 and immediately we were greeted by WORRALL. ahhh another face i have missed. it was great. we bought 2 bottles of wine to celebrate being reunited, chugged them down and headed to 2020 for charlie's bash. free drinks my arse, we still had to buy mixers and just got bottles of free spirits. so i was seen holding a glass of vodka & rb in one hand and a redbull can in the other all night aha. but yeah fun fun times, maeve and iddy were present and were genuinely nice (AAAGH!) and we had a real laugh which was good. i am glad we don't hate eachother anymore. so yes, proceeded to get RIDICULOUSLY sloshed, declared love for EVERYONE. jack snape wouldn't leave me alone and i was like, desperately trying to give him the message but still be nice at the same time (darn my kind nature!) and he wasn't really getting it. eughh. so yes, gross. i feel bad tho. so yeah loads of sketchy things went on and i can't remember much of the night and it all went really quickly until all of a sudden it was half 3 and we were walking to camel bar to go smoke some sheesha with kirby, jack kane (last night before uni! :( ), maeve, hana mason. then like laura slipped up and kirby fell on her. it was fucking hilarious. then i slipped over and fell really gracefully (according to some guy who was there who i dont remember) and like, landed on the curb/kerb. stupid uneven roads of bournemouth.
so yeah got to camel, ordered 3 pipes and chilled, loving the sheesh for a couple of hours. then when everyone was sufficiently cold and we had all run out of sheesha, cigs AND baccy we decided it to call it a night. got back to lauras about half 5, ate lots of food then went to bed. very excited about work the next morning (ha)
i ended up calling in sick and sleeping all day. mmmmmmmmmm!!


ahhh i just spoke to jake. he apologised for what happened in 60. said that he thought i didn't want to talk to him cuz when he came outside apparently i looked at him and looked away really sharply. ehhh fair really. at least we can be friends and i don't have to think he's a total prick. cuz we do get on so well. :)

bed happy.

02:12 pm - chriiiiiist

i had 13 hours sleep last night, i am so ill.

so i haven't posted for ages. the rest of summer was amazing, then izzy left which was sad. but she is visiting for the first time this weekend and we've got kirby's 19th so all is goooooooood :D
( the last month in pictoral form )
oh yeah and sam king is gay. holy shit.

03:04 pm

German B
Maths B
Biology B
Chemistry B
Physics B
English Literature B
English Language A
Religious Studies A
History A
Drama A
Music A*

I don't think words could describe how completely shocked and proud of myself I felt yesterday when I opened my results. I really expected nothing like this at all. Considering I was told I would probably fail Biology & Chemistry and only just pass German, I think I did a bloody good job! When I saw that I had an A* in Music I cried, pretty lame but I couldn't believe that either because I can't even do theory! The night before i'd been desperately hoping that i'd get an A in music because that would have made me so happy! I was slightly dissapointed that I didn't get an A* in Drama, but I'm comforting myself with the knowledge that my practical was A* and I only let myself down on the written exam, so i'm cool with that. Chuffed about History and dead shocked at English Lang but wheyyy :D. One person I wanted to tell that I couldn't though :/

Went to Sam King's to celebrate last night. I can't even remember arriving after work! I remember Connor pouring a bottle of wine over Harri then them making up later on, smoking from a huge bong with Ched and Baz, finding salt in a bag and being horrified because I thought it was some kind of crystalised drug, Paul punching the wall and breaking his knuckle and it being mountainous and disgusting. Then me, Laura, Norkey, Craig, Foi and Pampi walked back to Pamp's house and it took us like hours I swear. Theres a picture of me lying on a sign painted in the middle of the road and we sat on Canford Golf Course for ages.
I love nights where things slowly come back to you. Everyone did really well in their exams, so people were on an absolute high and just had a crazy night, it was wonderful!

04:05 pm - ahhh

this sucks so bad. i just wish things like this would be easier. it's like a constant battle to be a little more than content, and every time i decide to go for it i end up worse off than before. and now i'm in a shitty situation and i don't have any control over it whatsoever and i don't know what to do, because this has never happened before. usually it's down to my choice, or not at all. but when it's up to somebody else you really just feel completely helpless because as much as you want one thing to happen, wanting it doesn't mean shit.

hopefully sams party tonight will take my mind off things again. just got to go out and get on with everything else and then gradually i'll come to accept it. i just wish the whole acceptance thing could be quicker because i fucking hate moping.

12:46 am - ps

gcse results on thurs and i'm not even scared but i know i've done bad

HAAAAAA shit

09:59 pm - i have

ONE gcse left!


wooooooooooooooo summer starts on FRIDAYYYYYYYY :D

09:03 pm - i have

 my first gcse tomorrow HAHAHAH

good news is, i'm going in with 178/180 in coursework and 14/15 in terminal task so hopefully i WONT FAIL

:)

maths on monday though, kill me!